Monday, January 17, 2005
Backyard donner and blitzen.
Mark Latham has taken an incredible journey over the last 14 months. In December 2003 he was elected leader of the ALP as the result of a landslide one vote win. He had a long honeymoon interrupted by a trip to hospital with a nasty attack of pancreatitis. He arrived at the hospital with just minutes to spare to ensure his survival. Soon after that, the Leader of the Opposition was struck again down, this time by a violent and debilitating dose of electoral reflux which led to Mark voluntarily admitting himself to a darkened room in an isolation unit at the Terrigal Institute for the Non Infectious Personality.
Soon after his admission to TINIP Mark again fell victim to galloping pancreatitis. Despite Mark wishing to keep his raft of ailments close to his ample chest, news leaked out. As a consequence a few of his close mates contacted "Backyard Blitz" suggesting that they would like to give Mark a big surprise when he checked out of TINIP and got back home.
THE BRIEF
This is the tough brief Mark's colleagues presented to the lads from Backyard Blitz team.
Political landscape designer and former ALP leviathan, Siddy Sidebottom wanted to create an path that would extend from the safe and comfortable old hammocks out into some of the marginal seats dotted about the backyard. Sidebottom presented Mark's mates with a pinkprint of what might be achieved if he was given carte blanche and could radically prune some of the unattractive plants and old decaying structures.
THE PROCESS
First obstacle to the team's task was gaining a building permit from the Liverpool council ...
LATE-BREAKING NEWS. THIS POSTING TRUNCATED ... "BACKYARD BLITZ' HAS BEEN AXED ... OVERTAKEN BY AN UNREAL REAL REALITY TV ANNOUNCEMENT.
(Bastards! Had a whole lot of rivetting stuff to post! Well, maybe not.)
"Mark Latham has announced he is resigning from the Labor leadership and from Parliament, saying he is too unwell to continue in the position."
BUT IS THE BOMBER BACK AGAIN, AGAIN? The lazarine triple-bypassed Bomber Dame Nellie Melba-Beazley that is.
Like one of the lads who was working in the garden when the show was axed said. "Back to the fuchsia again, and the way things are goin', if I was Kimbo I'd make sure I got it right this time. Reckon even Simon might start adopting a lean and hungry look and that's got to be ugly. Anyhow I can't stand around here chewin' the fat. I've got me a whole lot of them avuncular bulbs that need plantin' in the backyard."
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